Be careful that when you piece together your customer service scripts, they don’t contradict each other.

I recently used Turbotax to file my taxes. I signed up for the Audit Defense because I fell for their fear marketing.

Everything was working smoothly until I was forced to pay twice before I could submit my taxes for filing.

I emailed Intuit’s customer service requesting a refund for the second payment.

The response was:

I understand that you need a refund for the Turbo Tax Audit Defense for 2008 since you have been double charged. Please do not worry; I will help you to resolve your issue.

I would like to inform you that we are unable to process the refund for the Audit Defense since it is a separate department. I will go ahead and provide you the contact number of the Audit defense customer service so that they will assist you better in this regard.

This email starts out good, since she accurately confirmed my problem. She even promised to help me resolve my issue. Unfortunately, she fails to do so just one sentence later. Ouch.

I guess that, technically, she did help resolve my issue by getting me another step closer to resolution. However, this email didn’t solve my problem nor was it worth the 2 business day wait.

Your first response to a customer should get them as close to resolution as possible. Hand off the email in-house to other departments before responding to the customer if necessary.

If you cut and paste a response to a customer, always read it through before hitting “send”. Does it make sense all together? Does it flow nicely?

Convenience fees for accepting credit cards are evil. Almost as evil as rebates.

One of the joys of running a business is having customers that pay you. They arrive with any number of payment forms. If you want to get paid, you have to juggle accepting different payment types with costs of doing such.

Unfortunately, some businesses lure you in with a “pay by credit card” promise when, in fact, you have to pay extra for the “convenience” of this service.

Small Businesses

Large stores will accept credit cards for what would seem any amount, even less than a dollar. Why? Because the cashier is just an employee. These front line folks probably don’t even know what a merchant account is or how it works. They feel no pain like you (the business owner) do at the killer fees you have to pay to process a credit card transaction.

Don’t use the excuse that you are a small business to slap a “convenience fee” on a customer. I’ve seen my share of handwritten notes taped to cash registers indicating a 25 cent fee will be applied to orders under $5. You’ve probably seen these too.

If you have such a sign on your register, consider that it may be a violation of your terms of service with the credit card companies.

As a small business owner, I know that you have to pay the merchant account and processing handlers per transaction. When you run that low dollar purchase, your fees are a higher percentage of the total than a more expensive purchase.

Nevertheless, you walk a fine line between alienating customers and violating the credit card companies’ terms of service. Neither option seems like a good one.

Online

Credit card processing is the backbone of e-commerce. Unfortunately, some government and utilities insist on charging a “convenience fee” for paying online.

I know they are just passing along their fees to the customer. But the customers don’t know that. They are just hit with a 3-4% “fee” that greatly increases their out-of-pocket expenses.

Take a look at the savings you’ll get from accepting credit cards online and they will offset the overhead of paying for people to open envelopes and manually process payments received by mail.

Just Say No

If your offline business deals with lots of transactions around a low dollar amount, maybe you shouldn’t take credit cards to begin with.

My wife reminded me of Amy’s Ice Cream here in Austin. Not only do they have “legendary” ice cream but also have an ATM in the corner of their store for your “convenience!”

There is a fabulous Mexican restaurant, Julio’s, in town that only accepts cash. The food is so good that it doesn’t matter, they are always packed with people.

Naturally, a “no credit cards” policy may be a barrier to some customers. However, if your product is superb and your service is excellent, people will come back and bring their friends, cash in hand.

Do you charge your customers for being difficult to work with? Maybe you slap them with a convenience fee for using their credit card. Or perhaps you slap them with a late fee when they don’t pay on time.

However, do you ever charge them up front, at the point of sale for not behaving?

I’d hope not.

A sign outside the JCPenney’s photo studio claims that a $9.95 per person sitting fee will be charged if the subject doesn’t behave.

Why would I ever want to take my unpredictable children to get pictures there? I wouldn’t.

If you can’t change the customer…

Instead of charging customers that don’t behave, why don’t you specialize in helping customers behave and act like you want? Kiddie Kandids specializes in children’s photography. They don’t charge fees for rowdy people. In fact, they are experts at getting kids to sit still and smile.

Your Competition Loves Your Customers

Your competition is welcoming your disgruntled customers with open arms by accepting them just the way they are.

Contrast this sitting fee dilemma with a sign that hangs up at my favorite barbecue place here in Austin: Rudy’s. It reads that if you whine, you’ll get charged $10.

On the surface this appears to be the same problem and even rude. However, the atmosphere and culture at Rudy’s immediately tells customers that this sign is a joke. Come in and enjoy some food.

Your “policies” and signs may very well be the fodder that fuels your competition to make fun of you and laugh all the way to the bank.

A critical part of the customer experience is the moment your customer receives their purchase.

If this is a physical product shipped from your website, take a moment to think about the situation your customer is in when the package arrives.

What will the customer be doing when it arrives?

Is this purchase a secret?

I recently purchased from lego.com and noticed an interesting message on the plain brown box:

Why are LEGO Shop At Home Boxes so plain?

You might have noticed that our shipping boxes are not quite as colorful and exciting as our toys. There’s a good reason for that — many people order gifts for others from LEGO Shop at Home. By keeping our boxes plain, we help gift givers keep their secrets!

Consider how your package will be received. How can you improve your delivery to both reinforce your brand and delight the customer with your thoughtfulness?